I saw an old friend at a social function last night and during the conversation he mentioned that he’d considered doing some guided hunts on the 800 acres behind his house. He asked if I thought that it would be a good idea or would fit his situation. I responded that maybe I’d just tell him about my weekend and he could decide from that.

  I had a 15-year-old kid coming to turkey hunt. He’d been two other places but never could get a bird and his dad was trying one more time to make it happen. Give the dad a pat on the back; he’s a good example. Dad was going to go along on the hunts as an observer only and that’s fine with all of us. We’d done some scouting but we have so many birds and so little pressure that it’s usually pretty easy to kill a turkey if you just act like you got some sense and listen to the guides.

  First morning out, guide has several birds working at the same time. He locks in on one that refuses to come in. So the guide moves up on the turkey. Turkey still won’t come in, probably with hens but triple gobbling. So they move up again. Turkey is still answering, the kid is set up with his twelve-gauge Citori on his knees, and he can barely hold it up. Guide gives the set up one more look and sees the dad lying on his side with his head propped on a tree. Guide asks if he wants to sit up and watch the show and the dad says he thinks he’s having a HEART ATTACK!! Guide RUNS the half-mile to the truck, no cell-phone service where he is, pounds his company truck up to the ailing observer, physically loads him into the passenger side and races to the lodge. I’m in the middle of cooking breakfast for the gang when they sail into the yard. Transfer the heart-attack victim into my truck, leave the guide to turn off all the stove functions, and run FOUR red lights getting him to the emergency room at the local hospital. One hour later he has still not been seen or evaluated by a practitioner so I announce to the staff that their lack of concern has given me cause to evacuate my client and go to the competitor three blocks away!

  New ER sees the patient in a reasonable period of time. Blood test, urinalysis, EEG and who knows what else is run. I’m busy consoling his anxious son, discussing progress with his wife and daughter 180 miles away. The guide and I discuss for the fifteenth time his symptoms and possible prognosis. Finally, four hours into our little ordeal a physician decides that he has an “inner ear problem”. No big deal, take some pills.

  I fill the two prescriptions for the client; get him a hamburger and coke, deliver him back to the lodge where he’ll spend the rest of his hunt on the couch. I take the kid hunting to salvage what’s left of the afternoon.

  Kid walks like an elephant. He forgot his hunting boots at home so he’s wearing his dad’s brand-new snake-proof knee boots. He can’t pick them up so he drags his feet. And they are cutting blisters. We walk up on five jakes on the way to a food plot but somehow they don’t spook! Still they are not candidates for calling so we proceed to the plot. I peek over a rise and see a gobbler head sticking above the wheat. I tell the kid that we have a GOOD bird 30 yards away. He asks in a normal voice if I think we can call him in. Not now! We set up anyway at the base of a beech tree that God must have put there for turkey hunters because it was perfect for the plot and the kid dutifully kicked all the sticks and leaves from under his feet “so he wouldn’t make any noise later”. I pointed out the TWO boss gobblers leaving the other end of the plot, way out of range, and mentioned that he’d better get a good look because that’s what a turkey looks like when you won’t be able to call him up!

  Next morning my best guide was back in the same spot with the kid. Turkey gobbles on a limb REAL close! Guide yelps and the turkey flies to another limb even closer. Still too dark to see or shoot. Kid lets the Citori fall off his knee and hit the ground. Turkey flies down to another food plot, two zip codes away.

  Guide sets up on another turkey. Turkey is closing the distance fast; hunters are behind a log pile, perfect set up. Turkey gets almost close enough to shoot and turns to leave. Guide looks at kid. Kid is yawning and stretching with his arms straight over his head! Guide returns kid to camp, giving me “that look” when he comes in the door. Of course, dad, who has missed all the fun, wants a full report of all the action. The version he got was considerably different from the one I got!

  I take the kid myself on a mid-day hunt. I’m carrying the Citori because it’s too heavy for him. Also the kid has a tendency to walk around with shells in the chamber and pointing at everything indiscriminately! I jump across a narrow mud hole at the bottom of a gully. He doesn’t. He leaves a tennis shoe barely visible in the mud. I retrieve the shoe. He throws a tantrum, starts breaking limbs, cane and whatever else he can get his hands on. Kid couldn’t sneak up on a glass of water at this point. I abandon the hunt, but he doesn’t know it.

  Deliver kid back to camp, give dad a rosy report about all the great things that Junior is learning and hand him off to another guide. Mommy has been summoned to drive dad and son back home since dad still has equilibrium problems. They will be departing at 4:00 p.m. sharp! Guide has one hour to pull the rabbit out of the hat! They tear out of the yard and go to a farm we haven’t hunted at all this season! A matched pair of gobblers comes in. Kid is hid behind a camo net so his movements can’t be seen, and at 4:20 p.m. he kills a twelve-inch bird with 1 1/8 inch spurs. Kid is a hero to dad, dad is a hero to kid, they’re gonna full-body mount the bird and nobody on our crew got a tip!

  For some reason, my old friend decided that guided hunts didn’t fit his situation.

  Charlie Provost is owner of Provost Adventures offering various types of hunts in Texas, New Mexico, Louisiana, Mississippi and Old Mexico. Visit his site at www.provostadventures.com for more details on all of their adventures.

  DNA Analysis to Determine State Record Fish Identity

    Dru Kinslow, of Oklahoma City, caught a state record fish Monday, March 27, but he doesn't know quite where his name will go in the record book - under smallmouth bass or black bass hybrid. Either way it will be a new state record.

  Kinslow caught an 8-pound, 5.6 ounce bass from Veteran's Lake near Sulphur. When he took the fish to fisheries biologists with the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation, they immediately recognized it was bigger than either the current smallmouth or the black bass hybrid records. However, the brute had characteristics of both a smallmouth bass, spotted bass and largemouth bass.

  "I don't really care whether it is a smallmouth or a hybrid, I am just happy to catch a fish that big. Never in my life did I think I would catch a state record," Kinslow said.

  Fisheries biologists sent a small fin sample to a DNA lab. The lab report will reveal if the fish is a smallmouth or a black bass hybrid. Black bass hybrids occur rarely in nature when the spawning areas of black bass species overlap.

  "It's certainly unusual. I am very curious to see the lab results," said Kim Erickson, fisheries chief for the Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation. "Unfortunately, this isn't an episode of 'CSI' and it will likely take several weeks for the technicians to perform the DNA analysis." DNA results from the lab will be posted on wildlifedepartment.com as soon as they are available.

  Kinslow was using a jig and salt craw combo when he hooked the big fish in the clear waters of 67-acre Veteran's Lake. "I was just trying out different lures to see what might be biting when I hooked the fish," Kinslow said. "It fought pretty hard and went all the way under the boat. I didn't realize how big it was until I got it in the boat."

  The fish measured 22.75 inches long and was 16.5 inches in girth.

  Steve McLarty holds the current record smallmouth bass with an 8-pound, 3-ounce fish he caught just weeks ago at Lake Eufaula in east-central Oklahoma.

  The state record black bass hybrid was just established this February when Sean McAllister pulled a 6-pound, 14-ounce fish from Lake Texoma.

  For a complete list of record fish and the procedures regarding certifying state record fish, consult the "2006 Oklahoma Fishing Guide." If you think you may have hooked a record fish it is important that you weigh the fish on an Oklahoma State Department of Agriculture certified scale and a Wildlife Department employee verifies the weight.

  American hunters wanting to use firearms in Canada have had several options since Canada’s gun laws changed in 1998. Given the quality of hunting available in Canada, you don’t want to let a bit of paperwork stop you from hunting in the north. Regular visitors can simply get the same firearms “possession and acquisition license” (PAL) that is available to Canadian residents.

  To qualify for a firearms license in Canada you first must pass the test for the Canadian Firearms Safety Course (CFSC). Dave Bartlett, an experienced firearms safety instructor in Ontario, has developed an on-line study aid for those who want to challenge the required test instead of doing the optional course.

  Bartlett has used his expertise as a government certified trainer to develop the content for www.GunExams.com , a website that allows visitors to study the content of the Canadian Firearms Safety Course using on-line practice exams. Bartlett explains, "When I started my firearms safety business back in 2000, with the launch of www.FirearmsTraining.ca , I saw experienced hunters were having trouble successfully challenging the test because they weren’t familiar with the Canadian Firearms Safety Course terminology and way of handling firearms."

  Bartlett says the course manuals make for very dry reading and his on-line customers prefer studying in a more interactive environment that provides instant feedback. For Americans the cost and delay of international shipping has also made getting the manuals a headache. With GunExams.com you can access the site immediately, go through 1000 practice questions and be ready to challenge the government’s test the next time you’re in Canada.

  If you rarely hunt in Canada, there are two special temporary licenses for non-residents: the Temporary Borrowing License and the Non-Resident Firearms Declaration. It is less hassle to get one of these licenses if you only go to Canada every few years.

  The $30 Temporary Borrowing License allows a visitor 18- years of age or older to borrow non-restricted firearms for up to 60 days while in Canada for specified purposes. Application must be made in advance and include information from the licensed Canadian outfitter, gun owner or club which will be loaning you the gun during your visit. If you are always going to be under the immediate supervision of someone who has the required firearms license, you don’t need to deal with any red tape.

  The Non-Resident Firearms Declaration allows a non-resident who shows up at the US/Canada border with non-restricted or restricted firearms to enter the country. There is a $25 fee charged for this license, but it is waived if you have paid the fee for a previous visit within the past year. This license serves as both license and registration while in Canada, and is valid for 60 days.

  PAL holders with registration certificates do not need either of these temporary licenses; they do not need to fill in the paperwork for either of these licenses at the border nor do they need to pay the fees associated with these licenses. If you going to be shooting in Canada every couple of years, you’ll probably find it worthwhile to get the PAL.

  Bartlett, who has competed in many American pistol competitions says, "I’ve always enjoyed shooting in the US and while crossing the border has gotten more complicated for Canadian and Americans gun owners in recent years, I hope that through GunExams.com I can help shooters in both countries continue to enjoy our sport, traveling as they did not so long ago."

  For more information, contact Dave Bartlett at: Dave@FirearmsTraining.ca or visit his sites: www.FirearmsTraining.ca or www.GunExams.com